Generally this kind of thing happens after near-death misses (I’ve had 2 so that’s first-hand talking).
What happens if you suddenly realise how absurd it is living/working/spending your time.money.energy the way you do? And instead of dissolving the irritating awareness in your morning coffee and ploughing back into life.as.we.know.it..
you stop.
And give the idea a bit of room to breathe.
What happens if you don’t want to go back anymore?
————-
What happens if you decide tomorrow won’t follow the same largely predictible script?
Is it even possible if you aren’t prone to multiple personality disorder, win the lottery, fall desperately in love or somesuch outrageous turn of irreversible external circumstance is foisted upon your being?
[Just asking. I'm feeling oddish & it could be contagious. Perhaps more of us are feeling like this.]
One of the joys of digital globalization is sharing moments of brilliance that can burst into viral meme streams. This is one whose RNA has infected many webheads with humour, humanity and heartbreaking inspiration, its Prof Randy Pausch’s legendary Last Lecture :
This is a fairly long video (just over an hour) & not friendly for those on slimmed bandwidth, but if you save up your bits & watch one video this month.
Make it this one.
“You are the storyteller of your own life, and you can create your own legend or not.” – Isabel Allende
(..and no mom, I don’t think I’m dying of any dire disease. Though I do apparently ail from an appaling addiction to alliteration.)
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7 comments
Jeremy says:
Nov 19, 2008
Love it…
Sterling Camden says:
Nov 19, 2008
A question that is always worth asking. Even if you are following your hearts desire, life seems to always attract layers of stuff that must be done but isn’t strictly part of your mission. It’s easy to get distracted by all that.
Rock on, legendary lady.
Maximillian Kaizen says:
Nov 20, 2008
@jeremy thanks J, I know you’re up for a little change of scenery too. Give it horns >> If you’re smart (which you are) & you have the right tools (which you do) you can. Besides, I want some fellow crazies ou there with me.
@Chip [hooray!! so good to be reminded of how much I enjoy your writing - with you on the Jonestown post.] I agree, and it’s that incremental layering that compounds & before you know it, it’s too damn heavy to move other than a few feet of our worn-in paths. This just came to mind from Buckley:
“As idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the cost becomes prohibitive”
So that’s why I have my doubts about whether we can just decide to leap one morning, or if we need some irreversible nudge off into the shrubbery to make our way back to what feels most alive.
Raoul says:
Nov 20, 2008
Max (if thats allowed)
the thing about dreams are that they are windows to the future. how we live our lives relates to how we dream. being positive and expecting the best from people will lead to technicolor, amazing dreams filled with love, hope and trust. I havent had a nightmare in 15 years and I can only account for it in the way I love the world. If you are dreaming about change then its there for you to take, but you need to make the decisions to shift your reality towards that dream if its far off your current path.
I have made a few quick significant changes of direction, if you want to call it that, in my life. I gave up a growing business (well sold it actually), travelled for a year without a plan or a companion, constantly waking up and deciding which direction to go in today. I moved to Cape Town the day after I wanted to come, quit and started here fresh with nothing. Once you have done it over and over, its not so hard. Also, I find that when you have nothing, the small things count the most.
The problem is leaving people behind and hurting people who rely on you to live your life the way you currently live it, because it suits their reality and what they can get from you. Sometimes to be true to yourself in spite of disappointing others is the best thing, even if its the hardest thing. To be true in spite of causing hurt, thats the weally weally big world.
I could go on and on but this isnt the time or the place, even though I love this topic.
Thank you. Your writing has really affected my world in a great way today. Raoul
Sterling Camden says:
Nov 20, 2008
That’s a great quote, Max.
“… if we need some irreversible nudge off into the shrubbery …”
Sometimes disaster is your best friend. If it hadn’t been for irreconcilable differences at the company where I worked before, I might never have had the courage to strike out on my own. I don’t even want to think about how I might still have been punching the clock for someone else.
Maximillian Kaizen says:
Nov 21, 2008
@raoul agreed on so many levels, and respect to you for taking the leap across the abyss. That peculiar paradox of no longer being afraid to die makes life suddenly vibrate with ALIVENESS [in the most unexpectedly simple but powerful ways]. For you ninja’s: giving it all up, being dead already, you become the fiercest warrior (a la Sun Tzu). LOVE your blog BTW, the upsidedown dawgs are the perfect antidote to seriousness (the dread serum that induces stupidity – seriousness that is, or taking yourself too seriously.)
@chip yup, reminds me of a quote from one of my fave economists Paul Romer: “A crisis is a terrible thing to waste”.
Thank goodness (retrospectively!) for things that bump us out off our predictable trajectory..
Ricky Catto says:
Dec 18, 2008
Hmmmm… yeah, i was thinking about this quite a bit this week – my neighbour ran her husband through with a caving knife on monday and i was left holding the punctures closed while he breathed his last.
my conclusion, however, is that i wouldn’t change anything drastically. As fleeting as life is i know that what i am doing now is the right thing. Being a Christian, i look to Jesus as an example of how to live life and He changed the world in 3 years. He knew he only had 3 years in which to do it but he seemed to be in no rush. He went to dinner parties and weddings and went fishing with friends. He only did what God told him to do.
I know that i now do what God wants me to do and so i am happy to do that. I think that if the threat of death will change the way you live your life to make you “better” but that the prospect of living to 90 won’t inspire you to change your life then you need to look at your motivation for doing what you do, your motivation for living.
Ricky